unfinished movement

life is an unfinished movement.

Before you are born, it was a piece of white paper.

You are the composer. You put the very first note on the paper the day you are born. you put a new note each day. Until you put the last note. Your music piece then will present to the accepter, God.

God will score it!


My first love, over 60 years ago

My very first love, 60 years ago.

I was holding a heavy bag of grocery walking along a quiet freeway. Not too many cars were driving by.  My bag seemed getting heavier and heavier. How I wished if there was some kind driver could stop by and offer me a ride.

Suddenly a familiar looking  gentleman appeared next by my side. “Mura, let me hold your bag.” he said.

“Mura!?”That was Johnny!?  60 years ago, the only one person who always call me Mura. He said he like to call me Mura,” There may be hundreds of Myra I may meet in my life. But Mura is the only one I love”.  I felt a little dizzy! I was confused!

I tried my very best to control myself not to hug him on an impulse. But could not help to shout aloud: “Oh! My good heavens! Johnny! Is that you? Where have you been all these years ?”

He looked at me calmly with a smile. Did not say a word as if we were together yesterday. Quietly,  he took the grocery bag away from my hands!

What a surprise! It WAS Johnny! My very first boyfriend when I was 22.  He looked just as handsome and friendly and clam as the days we were together!

He was quiet. Smiling. Did not answer my question.  I couldn’t think of anything else to say at that very moment. Even there were thousands of questions I wanted to ask him. But I didn’t know where and how to begin with. Just walking quietly with him.

I did not know how did we get into that house. There we were standing at a kitchen counter! Johnny  pull out a blue travelling bag from under the dining table and put it on the table. I noticed there was a white Pan Am logo on it. He un-zipped it and said to me,” Mura! Here are your groceries. I put a little something in the bag for you on your way home.”

“On my way home?” I said to myself.

” Yes! I’ll drive you home! Mura.” He said.

” Drive me home?” I got totally confused. He never drove……..

Johnny sat in the driver seat. It was a Van. Many other passengers were in the van before I got in. The only seat that was not taken was at the very end. So far away from Johnny.

I was disappointed  and  miserable.

How I wished if I could sit behind Johnny! There were thousands and millions of things I wanted to talk about. But there was only the bag of groceries bag with me, the bag Johnny gave me. I peeked into the bag. In addition to my groceries, I saw a tin box of cookies, which was one of my favorite. Some bottled water and the chocolate that I used to be crazy about!

I looked at Johnny’s back and wished to say thanks to him. But he was so far away and totally absorbed in driving.

Tears running down my cheeks…………..

My pillow was wet in the morning!

This was the only dream I ever had in 60 years after I stopped receiving Johnny’s letters.

We had dates! But totally differently from nowadays young people’s dating. We went to movies, we walked in the park, we went to the coffee bar. When there was no one around we held hands, we hugged, we kissed. Those were too much over the limits for me in the 60s in China.

For those, I felt sinful. I went to confession one day. Father Gregory, a Portuguese Jesuit was my spiritual consoler. I told him I have sinned. I have a boyfriend, we hugged and kissed. Father asked:”Then?”

“Then?……” I was surprised.

“Yes! Then what else did you do?” Father continued.

What else could we do? Would those be worse enough? I thought.

. “No!” I answered honestly.

“Those were OK! Those are not sinned. But just be aware those may lead you into sin. don’t overdo it. You should know when to stop! Otherwise, you will be fine!”

That was why I always said to Johnny: “OK! That’s for today. Let’s save the others for next time.” Sometimes we bumped into each other on the street, Johnny always said: “Don’t forget the ones we saved for the next time!” Loud and sound. That always embarrassed me no end and made me blushed!

We went to movies. When it’s empty after the show. Johnny always walked behind me and hold out his arms on each side of my soldiers to protect me from the jam-packed crowds.

When we sat in the park, he always spread out his handkerchief on the bench for me to sit.

If there was a  sudden shower when we were outdoors, he always took off his outer garment cover my head and shoulders.

Sometimes he bring me some of my favorite snacks

He read my mind. Do things for me before I said.

One weekend He did not come to see me. That night I received his express mail. He told me that day was his birthday. On his birthdays he usually not going anywhere except go to work. For us Chinese  always say: ” A child’s birthday was a mother’s suffering day.” At our birthdays we should give our mother some gift to thank her for bringing us to the world on her sufferings. If the mother died, we should close the door and think of her and make a self-examination. To see if we had done anything that disgraced our mother. We often hear people say that, but not too many people do the way as Johnny did. Even I myself. I was always brought my mother something she liked.

In short, I was totally fascinated. I wish someday we could get married. I’ll be a good wife and so proud and happy to be with him.   I was even imagining if we’ll have children, how would they look like!

Johnny went to another city for a new job. Working for Pan Am as an office employee. He wrote me a letter every day with express mail. Express mail usually delivered in the evenings in our area. Every evening was the happiest time for me to read his letter. Occasionally mail delivered at day time, my younger sister would pick it up running to me and say “Love letter! Love letter!” loudly to let everybody in the house know it!  We never said “love” to each other. For Chinese, we do not say “I love you!”. But from the concerns and attentiveness we show to each other, tells how much we loved each other. Johnny’s letters showed all of them.

After Johnny left couple months or so, suddenly I stopped receiving any mail from Johnny. No matter what I wrote, it would like to through a rock into the ocean. There was no respond. Sometimes I thought the mailman didn’t drop the mail into the mailbox instead he through the mail over the fence. They did that sometimes! The mail could be scattered everywhere in the yard. Sometimes the mail may be landed into my Jasmine bush. Will not be seen days later. I pushed aside every branch of the jasmine to try my luck. But never was any! We had a dog “Lily” She was quite naughty, she may torn paper sometime. but there was no torn paper in the yard at all.  There was nothing I can do. You could imagine my feelings! Sad and heart broken!

Johnny was disappeared!

4 years later I married to Peter. My Sweetheart.

One day I was visiting my parents with our 2 years old son.  I didn’t know how and where did he found a picture of me wearing a blue dress I made it myself.

“Mom, mom, is this you?”

“Yes! That was me!” I stared at the picture. It was taken almost 7 years ago before Johnny moved to the other city fot his new job. I bought two necklaces at the gift shop in our church. A small shield-like plate with a cross in the middle. I gave the blue cross one to Johnny. He put the red one on my neck.  That day we passed by a studio. Johnny thought it would not be a bad idea if we take a picture. So as if we see each other every day. That was my idea too. We took two sets of pictures:  one with us together one of Johnny and one of me. Each get a set. But where were the others?

I asked my mother if I can see the other two.

“The other two?” My mother said. “I burned them along with all the letters he mailed to you” My mother said calmly.

“What?” I could not believe what I’ve heard.
“Yes!” My mother said quietly. ” And also  I wrote him told him don’t ever write you anymore. I could not allow my daughter to marry someone who has a brain tumor and become a young widow soon after the marriage.  All the letters he mailed later, no matter to you or to me, I burned them all. Because I know if  you find out he would not live too long. you will propose to marry him right away.” …………………………………….

People say “if you dreamed of someone, it could be that you had thought of that person the day before. I loved Johnny deeply but not thinking of him too often. Not the day before the dream at all!

Well, honestly,  I do think of him sometime. After all, he was the very first love in my life!

The moon festival Story #2- Wu Gang Chopping the Laurel Tree

 Once upon a time, there was a man his name was Wu Gang. He was supervising the four Dragons at the four corners of the earth. He traveled from one corner to another corner. To check if the dragons are doing their jobs. The world is so huge, from one corner to the other would take about 3 months. To keep his schedule on time Wu Gang had to walk day and night without any stop.  Wu Gang had never had any break. The king in heave felt sorry for him. To reward him for his hard-working, the king in heaven gave Wu Gang a piece of pearl. If you hold the pearl in your hand and close your eyes and say: “Take me to- – -(just any place)” When you open your eyes, you will be right there!

Now, Wu Gang, have lots of time to rest, he became lazy and idle. Life became so boring to him.

One day Wu Gang walked into a Bar which he had never been before. He didn’t even know what kind of “water” the people were drinking there. The air inside the barfill with a kind oif strang order, smell strange. Wu Gang walked closer to the one who was drinking and find out the strange smell came from the cup.  He asked for one cup and tried. “Em!” He said to himself: “this water tasted a little sweet but spicy! Well! I like it!” So, he drank up the whole cup without stop! He Was standing at the table. Now he dropped into the chair!

People around him all laughed!  Some started to come closer to him and found he was a stranger. Some began to ask him such as: “where you from?”  “What kind of job you are doing?” Wu Gang told them he supervising and manages the four dragons on earth. He said, “Because they are too far away from each other. The king in heaven gave me a magic pearl. I just have to hold the magic pearl in my hand and close my eyes and say: “take me to the south dragon or take me the north dragon. When I open eyes, I’ll be right there! Now with the magic pearl, I don’t have to have that non-stopping walking anymore!” One of the crowd asked Wu Gang to show them the pearl. Wu Gang proudly took the precious pearl out of his pocket and showed to the crowd. A big strong hand came from nowhere. Quickly it grabbed the pearl and ran away like a flash. and vanished! Left Wu Gang behind. Stood there like a statue!.

After Wu Gang put himself together again. He thought of that non-stopping and tiresome traveling, he went to the king in heaven and bagged him. He said: ” Oh! Your Majesty! I am terribly sorry that I lost the pearl you gave me. Will you please give me another one? I promise I will take very, very good care of it. I will never lose it again.”

The king in heaven said to Wu Gang: “Okay! Here, the only and the last pearl I have.” He showed it to Wu Gang. He continued: “Come and follow me. Before you get it, you have to do something.” The king stepped down his throne and walked out of the palace. Wu Gang followed behind. Together they walked into the moon. There was a hole on the ground. Big enough to bury the pearl. The king in heaven dropped the only pearl into the hole. Right away the dirt covered the hole. a small Laurel tree grows out at the very spot. At a blink, the small tree grew into a big tree.

The king in heaven said to Wu Gang: “If you can chop the tree down you will get the pearl. “

Wu Gang began chopping. Strangely, whenever Wu Gang chopped one branch off the tree, quickly a new branch grew back. Wu Gang did not want to give up. Because he needed the pearl so bad. So he doesn’t give up. He kept on chopping and chopping. And the new branch keeping on growing back on, and on. Even until now, Wu Gang is still chopping! If you looked at the moon on a bright night. You can see there is a shadow of a tree, and if you look very carefully you may even see a small figure under the tree. That must be Wu Gang!

——-THE END!——–


Moon Festival Stories – #1 Chang ER Flew into the Moon

Moon Festival is also known as Mid-August Festival. August 15 is the middle of August according to the Lunar calendar. August is the harvest time, and on the 15th day, people give thanks to God for the blessings they received from heaven. It also is the time for family reunions. Together they celebrate with a big banquet and thanksgiving to God. After the worship, the family would sit under the moon, eating fruits and moon cakes. The young ones may sit around the elders to listen to interesting stories.

There are many different stories related to the moon festival. The best stories I have heard about the moon festival, are “Chang Er flew into the moon!” and ” Wu Gang chops the Laurel tree”. They are not just Mythological stories, but also fable stories. I loved to tell my students in Chinese school these stories when I was a teacher. From the story, my students would learn “Thou shall not steal.” and “Do not drink.”

Here is the story of “Chang Er flew into the moon!”

Long, long ago, there were 10 suns in the sky! The heat of the suns killed almost all the living things on earth.

The king in heaven notified the people on earth: ” Whoever can destroy the 9 extras suns, will marry the most beautiful lady on earth, Chang Er, and fulfill his first wish.

The strong worriers and archers came from all over the earth. But none of them could destroy any of those extra suns. Finally, there came the strongest archer of them all, his name was Ho Yee. With his powerful bow and arrow, he shot with his strongest arms began to shot at sun.. There, one by one, Ho Yee shut down the extra 9 suns! so he married the most beautiful lady on earth and fulfilled his first wish: “Immortality pill.”

Ho Yee was too busy to eat the Immortality Pill right away. So he hid it on the top of a very tall shelf and went out.

Ho Yee’s wife, Chang Er, got into the room while Ho Yee was not there. She smelled the sweetest fragrance she had ever smelled. She saw bright sparkles shinning on the top of that shelf.

Curiously, Chang Er climbed up to the top of the shelf. There, she found the Immortality Pill. She put it into her mouth when she saw her husband Ho Yee stepped into the room.

Ho Yee got so angry! But before he could fetch his wife, Chang Er’s body became so light, as light as a piece of feather. She flew out of the window and flew towards the moon, and kept flying on and on and on. Chang Er wanted to stop, but she could not. Until she landed on the moon. The King in heaven gave her a big beautiful palace to live. The palace was as beautiful as you can imagine! But cold inside, not in temperature. There was no one else live in it except her and a rabbit. She could never be able to come back to earth. She lives on the moon forever. Young and beautiful forever!

I was locked out!

I finish re-edited my mother’s Everlasting Blossoms story. And start a new blog for it only. But after the new blog was satup. I got locked out of my original blog! Not able to open my other blog for about two weeks. I do have my key on hand always. just couldn’t find the keyhole! Angry and frustration controlled my whole being! No matter what I tried it was just no way to get in.

You know, young people always are more knowledgeable about computer and any Technology!

So I turn to my grandson. He lives in another city. Whenever I got stuck in somewhere I always call him. He is very helpful. He is my live dictionary too! So I called him. On the phone he walked me through step by step! We walked almost an hour due to the slowness of my one stick typing and bed hearing! But didn’t get anywhere! I was tired of walking back and forth. More frustrated and running out of patient. My sweet grandson said: “It OK! Granny! My teacher told us “If you are stuck in some project, stop doing it, go to have some tea or other drink except liqueur! And come back work on it again.” Why don’t you take some tea then we work again. “

I did as he said. When I came back picked up the phone, I told him: “OK! I am back. I am a little tire but I will not surrender!” But my frustration won’t go away!

The more we tried the more confused I got! Finally I said to him; ” I think the computer is like me, we worked him too much. It got all mixed up! Let it have a break. We work it again again latter!”

I can picture my grandson’s understanding smile through the phone!

This morning……..

I woke up around 4:00. Just couldn’t go back to sleep again! Here I sat by my computer started working again!

Suddenelly, I saw [change password] somewhere on the screen! That was just what I needed! Without a second thought I click it right away. You something? Before I do anything, with a blink of an eye. I AM HOME! It’s like I woke up from a nightmare . When I open my eyes found myself lying in my own bed safely!

Can any of my blog friends tell me how come I dropped into the nightmare?

To an 83 years child, it was fantasy!